Oh my friends & family ,
so sorry I haven't been in touch much these last few month. I was very sick from some chemo & then when we went off that chemo & I got even sicker, go figure. The WORST has been that lack of feeling in my fingers has kept me from typing or lettering , not to mention dropping plates of food when I do attempt to eat...lost 30 lbs but trust me, this is NOT the way to go. It is also very hard to hold the phone for long!
This week, tests confirmed that I now have something called "Carcinatomous (Cancerous) Meningitis" on my spine & in the lining of my brain. There are several treatments but my docs and I have decided that surgically putting a "port" into my brain for chemo or getting radiation to my brain could leave me pretty disfunctional for long time (as if i haven't felt disfunctional for a long time now!) so I am going to start a treatment that means i'll have a Lumbar Puncture (or "Spinal tap") twice a week for about 3 weeks to receive chemo and then we'll re-evaluate. I had the Lumbar puncture yesterday & while it was briefly painful, it truly wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated.
So that's the latest on the Cancer Path for me. Lots of diagnosis could be worse, so I am trying to be positive that this might take away the nausea & back pain & give me back some finger feeling.
I can't tell you how much your wonderfully supportive e-mails, CARDS (all works of ART!), and messages have lifted me up...not to mention the prayers & love sent from around the world! Please understand if I don't get back to you right away!
doodles of Love and Gratitude to you all.
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7 comments:
Dearest Ann.....my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. May you know God's tender care in the days ahead. Trust your forthcoming procedures will not be too uncomfortable.
Love from Joyce in Northern Ireland
oh Annie, I was glad to see your blog float to the "top five" on my blogroll, meaning you are a recent poster, but then so sorry to read your news. I send you healing prayers during my practice, and you are often in my thoughts at other times too. Love love love, all you need is . . . love, Cari
Dear Ann,
Love from Jane and Ruth in London. I'm drinking a good cup of tea, and sending strong vibes your way. This news is a bummer, but you've beaten your share of bummers, heaven knows! Our prayers and thoughts are with you that you turn this lemon into lemonade in your standard transformative way!!
Love,
Jane
Well I have heard some really strange excuses for lounging around with your feet propped up, but that one takes the cake - and you could use some (cake that is) after losing 30 pounds. I would love to accompany you - and my presence will provide definite benefits. Mostly, once the techs find out that you're the patient and not me they will be SO GRATEFUL for their good fortune that they will treat you like the queen you are! I will demonstrate my ridiculous new yoga positions (guaranteed to make you laugh out loud) and if I get stuck in one of them, I am in the perfect place to get unstuck. Then we'll hit the drive-thru at Dairy Queen, get you home, prop your feet up and mix some Bailey's in with the milkshakes and watch the rest of your TIVO'd shows or one of my 100 DVDs. You know my schedule - any day at 12 noon - and I'll be there with bells on! Well, maybe not bells - unless jingle bells count!
Waddya say, girlfriend, is it a date? Love you!
OH, ANN!! I AM SO SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS!!THE WORST PART WILL BE MISSING YOUR JOYOUS WORDS ON THESE PAGES.
I am putting a small pink rose in my little vase that says "sweetpea"..there will be one for you every day.
love, mary ann
Ann,
You are amazing. I know you are probably tired of hearing that, but, it's true. Your explanation is perfectly clear. My heart goes out to you and your family. The journey you are on is not one I want to walk. But, you are, and you are doing it with incredible style!
Sueb
Ann,
You are an amazing woman. Your courage, positive attitude, and connection to all that you love move me so much and the power of all that positive energy is touching so many. Anyone can have that power when times are good and things are easy. What the world needs are people like you who have it when things are tough. You are not alone. Along with so many others i send love, healing, joyful thoughts and take my hat off to you.
love, susan
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